Nine Fine Months

Miss Madeleine Noelle,

Today you are nine months old. When I started making a list of the things you've learned to write in your baby book, I quickly ran out of space on my sticky note. You are a learning machine these days, mastering new skills on a daily basis. It would be impossible to pick favorites, but your monkey noise and dance moves always leave me in stitches. That and the fact that you kiss your baby doll as well as the animals and kids in your books.





Every night when your Daddy comes home from work, we're finishing up your bath, and for the next fifteen or twenty minutes you roam around the nursery naked as a jaybird. I can't say for sure, but I think these times will stand out as treasured memories years down the road: just the three of us hunkered down on the floor of your room, watching you explore and discover as you read books, climb "Daddy Mountain," and play with puzzles, all while nudey. I for one can never get enough of your beautiful rounded baby body, and for as long as you'll let me, any square inch of you is free-range smooching territory.




I can hardly believe how big you are. Looking at pictures for your monthly update I realized my baby is starting to resemble a little girl, and I'm hardly ready to let you go. When you are nursing I savor each second because when those precious minutes are over, you are well on your way to another activity, whether it's sleeping or crawling away. This month you said my name for the first time, on an airplane trip to see Grammy and Papa, and you haven't stopped calling me since. If it was hard enough to let you lie in your crib for a while upon waking or before nodding off, it is much harder now that you can penetrate my heart with "Mamaaa!"


If who you are now is any indication of the person you will be, I am so excited to see you grow and develop. Although it may make my life a little more busy, I hope I will continue to foster in you those amazing things I see now: a delightful curiousity and sense of adventure, love for and interest in creatures great and small, affection for your family and friends, joyful personality, and hilarious sense of humor.

We love you baby.

Mama

Out for a morning jog

Now that it's Fall, the morning runs require some tweaking, mostly in the form of a blanket and hat. This pink number is a genuine Costa Rican knit hat from some family friends. Cute, pink, with small fuzzy animals--the quintessential baby girl accessory.

And of course, no trip in the stroller would be complete without Turtle and his friends the plastic rings. Because a jog outside with the beautiful weather and even more beautiful scenery might just not be exciting enough.

First Haircut

Miss Maddie's hair was getting a little crazy...all different lengths on top; wispy, horizontal hair with sometimes curls to the sides; dark at the ends, light at the roots...so I took the plunge and trimmed away. It was hard to do, because let's face it, her baby hair was so sweet. But now it will hopefully grow out more evenly and get in her face less.


BEFORE













AFTER

maybe the last

8 months is a lot of fun! You are so playful these days, always ready to engage in a game of peekaboo, give high fives or kisses, or crawl after us, giggling with delight. In one month you've started crawling, pulling up to a stand, cruising the furniture, and trying to stand on your own. We barely have time to recover from one major physical developmental step before you're off doing another thing. The world is your playground--full coffee cups, newspapers, pens, dog fur, sharp hearth edges, cords, computers, cell phones, CDs, magazines and more! Nothing is safe from your curiousity.

We cannot imagine a more delighful child. You are always cracking us up with who you are and what you do, from blowing raspberries while you play to singing along with our silly songs to the way you go after our cell phones and sunglasses with that mischevious little grunt. Almost every night after putting you to sleep we marvel at how lucky we are to have you. You are an incredible little person, and we can't wait to see who you'll become.

more pictures

Crawling after the camera






















Posing in my new outfit from Great Grandma Dorothy

posting pictures, just because I can

All dressed up for church...

seven months

Dearest One,

You are now seven months. It is so unreal, as my little baby has become a big baby and is over halfway to one year. This week a new friend joined our world, little Nicole Grace, and to hold her 7 pound body I was overwhelmed with how large you have become since your newborn days. You've doubled in weight, as a matter of fact.



















You love to play on the floor, sitting up tall with your drum or blocks, and you creep all over the floor now, pulling with your arms and pushing with your toes. You are sooo close to crawling, I can feel it. Before long, I'll be plugging all the outlets, putting up gates, and giving up my comfortable place on my booty to chase after you on hands and knees. (As much as that sounds like a complaint, I really can't wait!)

You've become quite the traveler, putting in another flight this month, this time to the sunny tropics of Kauai. The ride there was a little tough, as it was during bedtime and you had difficulty getting comfortable. But on the way home not a soul would even know you were on the plane. Quiet as a mouse, all snuggled against your Mama, just like the good old days when I could hold you while you slept.

In Kauai, you amazed us with your adaptability in so many ways: time change of 3 hours, naps on the beach, long rides in the ergo carrier on hikes, I could go on and on. Vacation is definitely different as a parent, not quite so relaxing, but to see everything through your eyes and your experiences was so much fun! You were overjoyed at so many new experiences, and so delightful considering all the changes.

Many people have commented on your eyes lately, at how big they are. And we agree. You are constantly taking things in, wide-eyed, as if to close your eyes even just a bit would deny you the full effect of your surroundings. It is those eyes that look up at me in bed after nursing in the morning, those eyes that peek up through the stroller sunroof to play peekaboo on walks, those eyes that scan the room for your dada or the doggy, that have me under your spell. I live for those smiling eyes, whether open wide in amazement or wrinkled up into smiling half-moons.



The other day your dada kissed us goodbye (you were nursing) and was headed out the door when you immediately stopped what you were doing, looked in his direction and yelled "aye da da!" He immediately returned to my side and covered you in more kisses, delighted to start his day with such a loving goodbye from his best girl.

When we think back to this stage of life, all will pale in comparison to the joy you have brought us. The addition of your fun, joyful, loving, inquisitive and delightful spirit to our lives is more than we ever could have hoped for. I love you, and I love being your mama.

one half of a year

As of tomorrow, July 14th, my baby girl will be SIX months old.

Her Tutu described her lately as "delightful," a word that her daddy has used on more than one occassion. And that is what she is, a true delight. This month she started log rolling, fast and furious, across the living room floor. The large quilt we have been using for floor playtime no longer is big enough for her adventures. The tile floor, tile hearth, and leather couches have all been in on the rolling action, a few times with ouchy consequences. But, as her Grammy said, she will get bruises, there is only so much I can do.



Maddie continues to like singing and music of any kind. Just today I purchased her first musical toy, a drum that makes different noises depending on what you drop inside (instrument noises, animal noises, and a lot of songs). So far, she loves it. Her eyes grow wide with excitement upon hearing a new noise. "Old MacDonald" is still our Ace in the Hole, a song that makes the tears stop and the smiling/singing start. Maddie loves to hum along to almost any song, but especially that farmyard favorite (props to my country raisin'.)



Maddie must have inherited her parents' love for sleep, as she is the Queen of Sleeping! For fear of losing all friends, I have stopped telling my friends just how much she sleeps at night. But between you and me, internet, she is up to 12 hours + at night. It is mah-ve-lous! Naps are short and sweet, but are starting to consolidate into longer times, especially with all the rolling that's been going on. (Just this afternoon, she's working on over two hours as I type this! Hooray!)



Laughing is abundant in our home these days due to Maddie's ever-increasing antics and her ability to make the funniest faces, sounds, and movements. Tutu taught her to raspberry, and it is one of her most favorite activities. She will blow raspberries at just about anyone in an attempt to get them to play with her, or just to admire her general cuteness and amazing noise-making skills. Just the other night I nursed her to sleep and when I placed her in the crib, she woke up for just a second, blew a raspberry, and then laid her head down to sleep. I cracked up all the way down the stairs on my way to tell her dad.





Maddie is amazing. She is a gift. She is more fun, more loveable, more kissable and more delightful than we ever could have imagined. Happy half-year birthday, my sweet girl. I'm so proud to be your Mama.

too dang fast

Shortly after M turned five months old, I was nursing her to sleep upstairs in the nursery when I realized just. how. BIG. she. is. Her wavy-haired head was nestled in the crook of my arm and her daddy long legs dangled precariously between the rungs beneath the armrest on the other side. She was literally spilling off my lap, a relaxed pile of milk-drunk limbs. For the first time since Madeleine's birth, I cried about her growth, the changing that is happening so fast.

Everyone tells you this, "it will go by so fast," as you enter parenthood, along with a barrage of other negative comments such as "oh, this one's a good sleeper? just wait for the next!" or, "you think that's bad?! Let me tell you a REAL infant horror story!" or, my personal favorite, "don't get used to it!," like my lovely baby will turn evil any moment.

There seems to exist among parents a bad news club, or this need to negate positive experiences and sweet moments with some sort of whacked-out backwards parent karma: what seems good now will one day be bad. Why is that? Out of many, many women who I spoke to about labor and delivery, only a select few told me positive stories about their own, and only one told me what was the absolute truth (in my own experience): your labor can be a wonderful time.

As I sat in the rocker with tears in my eyes, I grieved for the moment that would never again be. My child, still so much a baby, was changing by the minute into a bigger, smarter, more independent person.

With each new day, a new development. With each milestone, a celebration. Each morning I love her more and more, and it is true, what parents say (positively, I might add): each stage is your favorite. But she's my child; of course every stage is my favorite because she is absolutely my most favorite thing in the world.

I am in awe of who she already is and find myself wondering at the little girl, teenager, grown woman she will one day be. But these flash-forwards are fleeting, because there are far too many in-the-moment times where I celebrate who she is at that very second, even if the celebration involves tears at the infant she is leaving behind.

Picture Updates

At 5 months, 1 1/2 weeks, Maddie continues to be a whole lot of fun. She started babbling about a few weeks back, her favorite vocalizations involving some combination of the sounds ba, da, la, and ya. She laughs at almost anything, especially the dog, being tickled, and funny noises or faces. In addition, she's a breeze to take on errands, finally accustomed to being in a carseat or stroller and spending the time looking all around.

Naps continue to be anyone's guess, as she'll take 3 long naps one day, and barely sleep an hour during the day the next! However, she almost always sleeps 10-11 hours at night, going to bed earlier and earlier these days. Some mornings start pretty early, but after a little experiement this morning, we found ourselves getting an extra 30 minutes of sleep when Maddie went back to sleep after 10 or so minutes of babbling.

The world is Maddie's playground now. She wants anything that her Daddy or I have in our hands, especially food and drinks. She loves to drink out of Mama's glass and is enjoying her bites of cereal 1-2 times a day. We'll start fruits and vegetables before long, and look forward to the funny faces! In this picture she is exploring one of Daddy's beautiful planter boxes, and we managed to get a picture taken before too many flowers met their untimely death at her chubby, grabby hands.

The hair continues to fall out slowly, leaving telltale shed on Maddie's crib sheet and shirt collars. It's mostly in a mohawk and thick along the base of her head, but there's still enough to enjoy barrettes, ponytails, and ribbons!

Papa and Grammy are visiting this weekend, so Maddie has lots of grandparent love to look forward to! We'll be celebrating our anniversaries together with an overnight wine tasting trip to Sonoma. Mom and Dad are toasting 35 years of marriage, Ben and I are on number 7. Lots of fun to be had!

Only 3 1/2 weeks until our Kauai vacation! That means only 3 1/2 more weeks to work on my base color, lose a few more baby pounds, and only a few more busy work weeks for Ben before relaxed family time. Hooray!

vacation tales

If you ever want to remember why you married your husband, take him on vacation. Upon leaving work for an extended period of time, my husband becomes the fun, loving, affectionate, laidback guy I fell in love with (10!) years ago. Not that he's lame the other 46-48 weeks a year, but there is something about vacation that brings out the best in us all. Time away from the demands of home and office make life almost carefree. That, and two weeks of fishing two amazing trout rivers made him boy-like, giddy and talkative.

This was my first vacation post-Maddie. I wasn't really prepared for the fact that vacation doesn't, really, exactly mean vacation for the Mama. Not that I'm asking for your pity, because any mom reading this post had me figured out at the title, most likely. When you are a mom, your job goes with you on vacation. And she doesn't get less demanding.

Things got especially interesting when my poor sweet child spiked a 102 fever on Memorial Day, followed by a week and a half of diarrhea. When your child is sick, you don't really want to be on vacation. One night the two of us walked the halls until 1:30am when she finally had the bowel movement we'd been waiting for most of the night, enduring screams followed by body writhing and tears. In moments like these the beautiful log cabin with moose and reindeer decorations, large jacuzzi tub, and gleeful husband don't seem quite so magical. You kind of wish for the comforts of home: your own couch, the baby's own bed, freezer stocked with pre-made chocolate chip cookie dough chunks.

The whole vacation wasn't a bust. Maddie was mostly herself despite the ouchy tummy. My hubby was a delight to be around. The cabin was warm and cozy and almost like home. We had a great time with family before Memorial Day, pre-fever.

But it's interesting to know that vacations are hereby different. Not bad, different, because I absolutely love being a mom. And I'd much rather have my husband home and still be "working" myself then be at home while he's gone all day.

Tuesday

5:40am Daddy's alarm goes off; Daddy pushes snooze
5:52am Maddie wakes up, talking in her crib
5:53am Daddy gets in the shower
5:55am Pick her up, change her diaper while she dramatizes (fake cries)
5:58am Nurse on right side in bed
6:16am Daddy kisses us goodbye
6:26am Stop dozing, switch to left side
7:48am Maddie wakes up, looks me in the eyes and smiles wide
7:55am Start coffee pot, put Maddie on tiny love play gym
8:14am Take dog outside while drinking first cup of coffee, wipe off exersaucer
8:21am Put Maddie in exersaucer, drink second cup of coffee
8:41am Maddie starts to get bored, set cup down to pick her up
8:52am Take Maddie upstairs, change diaper, rock, nurse, rock, put down in crib asleep
10:22am Maddie wakes up smiling
10:23am Change Maddie's diaper, change out of pajamas into dress, socks, and headband
10:42am Leave to run an errand to Babies 'R' Us for supplies
11:45am Maddie falls asleep briefly in sling in store! Oh no! Sleeps only about 8 minutes.
11:55am Drive home, Maddie crying in back seat, text Daddy to ask him to pick up sushi for lunch
12:05pm Nurse Maddie, rock, walk through hall, turn on fan, place in crib, take out of crib, nurse again, put in sling, talk to Daddy while he starts eating lunch, finally place awake, crying baby in crib at 1:17
1:18-1:33pm Scarf down California rolls, try to make conversation while listening to baby cry
1:33pm Walk around upstairs outside nursery trying to decide whether to go in
1:43pm Take baby out of crib, lay down in bed and nurse, fall asleep when baby stops nursing about 2:30
3:08pm Maddie wakes up, try to soothe back to sleep, no success, get up
3:12pm Place baby in swing, hoping to eke out another 45 minutes of naptime, she falls asleep for about five minutes but wakes back up, nap not a success
3:42pm Get tennis shoes on, put baby in stroller, dog on leash and head out for a walk
4:42pm Return home, nurse baby, who falls asleep nursing for about 10 minutes and then jerks self awake, try to get back to sleep, no success
5:33pm Decide to eat dinner b/c it looks like a long night of getting overtired baby to sleep ahead. Dinner is turkey sandwich, sugar snap peas, pita chips and Crystal Light
5:59pm Take Maddie upstairs, change diaper, put in jammies
6:05-6:30pm Nurse Maddie
6:30pm Maddie falls asleep nursing, continue rocking for 15 minutes to make sure she's out
6:44pm Move Maddie's limp legs and arms to ensure depth of sleep, rise from rocker, move toward crib
6:45pm Place Maddie in crib, Maddie startles awake and starts making rapid gasping noises when realizes she's being put down to sleep
6:45 and 33 seconds Lift baby up and try to soothe back to sleep
6:51pm Baby awake, Mama exhausted. Place awake baby in crib. Take long, hot shower. Decide to try first night of Weissbluth's letting baby self-soothe as long as necessary.
7:02pm Long, hot shower actually only 11 minutes in duration, baby still crying.
7:03-7:06pm Towel off, enter baby's room to peek in crib. Baby wide awake, eyes Mama and makes big gummy smiles to entice Mama to take her out of crib.
7:08pm Mama returns to master bedroom, picks up Weissbluth's "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" and turns to section about bedtime to get courage to not return to baby's side.
7:14pm Baby stops crying. Mama breathes HUGE sigh of relief and goes downstairs.
7:42pm Baby wakes up crying, Mama inhales sharply and feels heart start beating rapidly. Maddie moves around in crib, settles back to sleep after just 2 minutes. Mama sighs deeply.
7:42-9:00 Mama picks up house, starts dryer to refluff clothes left from yesterday, cleans dinner dish, drinks a large glass of chocolate milk, checks favorite blogs, finishes daily crossword and types up blog entry.
9:18pm Blog entry completed. Baby still sleeping. American Idol a big upset.

life is rich

My Dear Little One,


Tonight as I cuddled you in my arms before putting bed I was overwhelmed with love and gratitude and contentment. This week marks one year since finding out you were on the way. The joy we felt in that moment of seeing the positive pregnancy test is nothing compared to the joy we feel with you in our lives now.

The relief I feel when you finally fall asleep at night is nothing like the longing, my arms suddenly light and strangely empty upon placing you in your crib. It is so nice to have some adult time but we can't wait for the morning and your bright, smiling face to join us in bed for your morning snack, hair wild and crazy with sweat and hard sleep.

These days when you nurse you regularly pause to gaze up into my eyes and communicate your love in small phrases such as "ah-goo," "mmaaa" or "yayaya." I swear today while playing you looked up at me and said "Hi!" As your daddy prepared his sermon today, talking out loud you watched intently, commenting every few minutes as if giving advice on what to say.

You were and are a miracle. God is so gracious to have given you to us, with your gummy smiles, adorable laughter, chubby wrists, cheesy thighs, yummy snuggles and cheery disposition. We are crazy about you and we love you so much!

Maddie Laughs

Something I cannot get enough of these days is the laugh of my itty bitty girl. I am shameless in my pursuit of the next giggle, pulling out the craziest and silliest of faces, maneuvers and voices in order to capture that one, perfect laugh. It often comes by surprise, sneaking out of her smiling mouth with pure, untamed cuteness. It is one of those fabulous milestones of parenthood, hearing your child's very first laughs, like a little piece of heaven.

The girl wakes up happy, from every nap, no matter how short. 15 minutes? Still wakes up smiling. 3:45 in the morning? Smiley. It's amazing.

And then there's her naked, chubby little body. She is absolutely delectable, with so many edible parts it's just amazing that I'm always covered in her slobber and not the other way around. I feel like every time I peel off the layers for bath time or nudey time, there's another roll or wrinkle to be explored with my kissy lips.


As a matter of fact, the only thing that is somewhat trying about this stage of life is that Maddie wants to be awake all day. She hates to miss out on any fun that might be had, sometimes waking up after going down for a nap only 14 minutes earlier (see paragraph on smiling, above). She also rarely makes it through a feeding session without playing multiple batty eyelash games with her mama. So I spend a lot of time nursing and putting to sleep, but it is all worth it to see those smiling eyes looking up, whether it's been 13 minutes or two and half hours.

Maddie on Tape

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3 Months/Happy Easter

Maddie turns 3 months this week. I can hardly believe how the time is flying by. Each day I grow more in love with this little person whose smiles, screams and sweetness regularly amaze me. This month Maddie started noticing her hands, which she moves toward her face/mouth with intensity and amazement. She also has started reaching for things, though quickly loses track of said grabbed items because she drops her hands down to her sides, out of sight. Ooohhh, that's my hand, and there's that rattle I was looking for!

Her dad and I had the divine pleasure of experiencing yet another growth spurt, starting around 11 1/2 weeks and lasting 4 or so days. Essentially 4 days of nonstop nursing accompanied by a high-pitched scream with the loudness and tenacity of a toddler. Leaving us to wonder, Where has our sweet, innocent little baby gone and what is with the banshee screaming?

Well, the spurt is now behind us but the scream remains. Apparently, screaming is a very effective way to get your needs met. Nonetheless, now that we know she's not in pain, but simply demanding something to change, it is kind of endearing, in a A-scream-only a-mother-could-love type of way.


Maddie also met her extended maternal family for the first time this month, visiting Oregon a couple of weeks ago. She is a well-loved girl with many aunts, uncles, cousins, grammies, papas, mimis and the like standing in line to hold her. It is so wonderful to have families that love and enjoy our baby as much as we do. And they assure us she is as cute as we think she is.

Another first this month was Nudey Time. Madeleine loves to be naked in the bath and so we decided to lay down some cloth diapers and give her some fresh air. As you can well imagine, it was a big hit and will become a regular activity here in the Joyce household.


Mama just can't get enough of styling Maddie's hair these days, as it continues to grow and remain delightfully wavy. She's got her dad's out-of-control bedhead in the morning and after bath it is particularly fun to swirl and twirl.

Happy Easter everyone!

2 Months

This past week Maddie celebrated 2 months of life. And what a difference a month makes! Her first month of life was, well, mostly difficult but dotted with moments of pure joy. The second month? Pure joy dotted with only the slightest bit of difficulty. Maddie is a love. She hardly cries, except when hungry, tired, or poopy. She coos and smiles almost constantly because her father or I cannot stop talking in sing-song voice and making crazy sounds just to see those glorious wide eyes turn to smiling eyes. She is sleeping like a pro, 8 hours in a row last night! Nursing is fabulous, she gets the job done in 25 or 30 minutes and nothing makes her happy like the boobie. It is so wonderful to know we always have an ace in the hole, should something upset her.

Maddie's first shots were Friday. She made it through the first two with not even a peep. The third caused her to whine and fuss for just a few seconds, and before we picked her up off the doctor's table, she actually gave her daddy a big, wide smile. She was much braver than I. Next time maybe I won't be such a chicken and hide behind her dad (I did watch, I just couldn't be the one to hold her down on the table.


She now weighs 11 pounds, 5 ounces and is 23 3/4 inches long (85th and 97th percentiles, respectively). Our little peanut is more in the realm of a brazil nut, relatively speaking. She is the size of an average 4 month old, according to our wonderful pediatrician. I'm not sure if all doctors are like Dr. T, but I leave his office feeling like a million bucks. My baby is "beautiful," she is sleeping "like a pro," "ahead of the game," and "cute." Not that I need a doctor to confirm all these things which I know for myself, but boy does he do a wonder for the mommy esteem.

I love being a stay at home mom. It is so wonderful to wake up with this little angel of a baby, spend all day with her, and put her down at night. I love seeing my wonderful hubby as a dad. He is proud, absolutely smitten, and just as crazy as I expected. We are officially twitterpated.

the days fly by

seven weeks and counting...

My baby is getting so big! And she is the delight of our lives...smiling, cooing, making funny faces. We can't get enough of her sweetness.

The thing with parenting is, just when you think you've gotten it down, something changes. She was sleeping 4-6 hour stretches and then she wasn't. She was going down easy to sleep, now it's taking a while. She seemed to ease off on the nursing and then she was back to every 1 1/2-2 hours. But it is all worth it, because now in my seasoned-parent-mindfulness, I know that all things are just phases and she will soon move on to new (greener) pastures.

Our first trip to visit family has been scheduled for 3 weeks from now. We're so excited for Maddie to meet the Painter family, including Grammy and Papa, Uncles and Aunt, cousins, as well as great-grandmas and grandpa. It will be so wonderful to have her with my family after so many weeks without meeting these wonderful people.

Maddie did great on an all-day outing for her daddy's birthday. She slept in the car on the way to Napa, continued to sleep all through breakfast, nursed at the first winery, put on a smiling and cooing show for the adoring fans, slept to the next winery, nursed, and slept the way home. What a good girl!

She's also now fitting into some "big girl" clothes, much to her father's chagrin ("I'm not ready for big girl clothes! Put her back in the onesies and sleepers!") But she has so many cute outfits...I can't keep her in 0-3 forever! There are so many moments when I'm snuggling her (after nursing, in the middle of the night) when I think to myself, if I could just keep her here forever, this perfect little size with the sweet breath and kissable neck and little sighs. But I know my love will only continue to grow with each day she's with us!

Recovering

No one could have prepared me for the two truths of parenthood: 1) a newborn is absolutely exhausting and the schedule is SO demanding, and; 2) the love I have for this little baby is unlike anything I've ever experienced. Maddie is an absolute dream of a baby right now--she is sleeping between 3-6 hours at night, feeding well during the day, and responsive smiling at us right after nursing and when she first wakes up. That, with the cooing and daily changes in her voice, well it has me by the heartstrings. She is fun and cute and snuggly and hilarious.

If I would have blogged a week and a half ago, this post would have sounded seriously more depressing. My nipples were sore and cracked, my baby refused to nurse at times, I spent twenty minutes sobbing on the floor of the nursery when in the middle of the night I had to break down and give my ravenous child formula after attempting to nurse for 40 minutes. Maddie was waking up twenty minutes after one feeding, ready for the next. The 3-week growth spurt was no joke in the Joyce household!

As of yesterday, we're up to the 75th percentile for weight, 97th for height! We're not sure where she got the long body, maybe in the family genes, but not from mama or daddy! It was a beautiful February day in the Bay Area (70 degrees) so we decided to take Madeleine for her first trip to the beach. We ate lunch in the sunshine, made it through our first public breastfeeding (I don't think I flashed anyone and it was totally fine), took Maddie to see the ocean (she slept through it all) and made a stop at Poppy and Tutu's on the way home. I was afraid she might be overstimulated after such a busy day but the little sweetheart slept from 9 until 2:30. I love those long stretches...they feel like a full night's sleep after the 3-week non-stop nurse fest.

I'd tell any new parent to stick it out for the first month, to realize that nursing is very difficult at times, the schedule is absolutely overwhelming and the lack of sleep can cause some real emotional moments...but it is all worth it. Even being totally prepared and even experienced in caring for little ones, we had no idea just how difficult but rewarding this journey would be. Every morning I sing praises for this little miracle of life, knowing my love just swells every moment I spend with her!

Happy Valentine's Day

Bird Bath

Maddie's Birth Story

Saturday afternoon we visited Dr. Wells for a checkup and learned I was over 1 cm dilated and 80% effaced. However, Maddie was not dropping down against the cervix, preventing further progress (or making progress likely to be slow). Dr. Wells stripped my membranes and offered us the option of waiting things out for a few days or being induced over the weekend. After thinking it over, and learning that the L&D ward was empty, we decided to go ahead with the induction.

Upon arriving at the hospital, we discovered that I was in early labor and experiencing mild contractions. They started a pitocin drip around 4pm and steadily increased the amount every 15 minutes. Contractions started out easy, progressing to menstrual cramp-like sensations I could easily talk through, to more intense feelings that required me to stop talking, close my eyes and concentrate. We walked around the room, sat in bed, leaned over, slow danced, and eventually I made it to 3 cm after a number of hours. At this point the pain was not too bad, but it seemed as though there was no break between contractions to catch my breath. Relaxation techniques and positive thoughts were helping only somewhat.

Around 7pm that evening Dr. Wells decided to rupture the membranes. Given that my contractions were becoming more intense, and with the knowledge that the rupture would bring on even more painful and rapid labor, I decided to go ahead with the epidural. As the anesthesiologist administered the block, I leaned forward and was pleasantly surprised at how easy the process was…it hurt for only a second like a bee sting when the local anesthetic was given.

After that, all I can say is labor was an absolute breeze. I slept through the remainder of the dilation, all the way to 10 cm. Granted, it was not uninterrupted sleep, as we were not only excited beyond belief but I was being checked every 1-2 hours and the bp cuff went off every 10 minutes. If I happened to bend my arm within those 10 minutes, I would be rudely awakened by the painful constriction of my arm flesh. Contractions felt like mild warm tightening, and I sensed them only on the lower right side of my abdomen. Then there were the beeping machines, an epidural alarm which kept misfiring and my own bp monitor which seemed to be out of whack. Right when we’d fall asleep, something would inevitably beep or alarm.

In early labor Maddie did not like me to lie on my right side. Her heartrate would drop, so they had me lay on my left side, causing the epidural effects to be concentrated there (hence feeling contractions only on the right). However after a bit of progression, it seemed the problem corrected itself and she didn’t seem to mind me switching sides. I progressed at a rate of about 1-1 ½ cm every two hours.

At 9 am the next day I made it to 10 cm and was told that in a little while we would start pushing. Family and friends Mike and Bonnie, Jennie, Gregg and Kelly, Mike and Kara, Susan and Andrew and the boys were waiting in the family lounge. They came in to say hi before the pushing began, at around 9:45.

I pushed for over an hour and a half, watching my progress in the full-length mirror. Pushing seemed natural to me, though not in any way easy. Early in the process I was able to reach down and feel her little cone-shaped head starting to make its entrance into the world. I remember Ben saying “she’s almost here” and the doctor saying “harder, Becky, harder.” I could see her head crowning but she was stuck in the same position (almost out) for quite a while. Doctor Wells said he was going to need to do an episiotomy to get her the rest of the way out. I cringed, and he decided to wait and give me a few more pushes to try on my own. The process was tiring. Doing four pushes per contraction was not always doable. There were times I didn’t make it to the count of ten because of the sheer exhaustion of it all. Eventually Dr. Wells went ahead with the episiotomy and he told me to listen carefully as he would guide me through the next pushes, saying first “easy, go about half way” and then “okay give it just a little squeeze” and out she came! I immediately started crying as the amniotic fluid poured out and he lifted her around to wave at me. Then she was placed right on my abdomen where we welcomed her beautiful, round and soft body into the world. We were able to talk to her and love on her (she didn’t cry hardly at all) for a few minutes before they took her to the warming table. She started to cry more heartily and Ben went over to comfort her, singing “Jesus Loves Me” which instantly calmed her down.

Her apgar scores were 8 and 9 and she was a healthy 8 pounds, 4 ounces. Dr. Wells sewed me up and said he was glad with the small amount of damage done given Maddie’s size. I could hardly complain at that point, with my beautiful daughter in my arms.

They gave me a medication to help the uterus contract the placenta out. Shortly after, I became really ill, vomiting multiple times (despite two doses of Zofran) before finally feeling like myself around 4 or 5pm. At that point, I had been crying because I was so frustrated that I couldn’t just enjoy my baby due to throwing up every time I tried to hold her on my belly. But it was almost as a switch was flipped and I felt better in time to try and nurse her.

In the hospital we were constantly woken by nurses, nursing assistants, people changing our garbage, delivering the food tray, removing the food tray. It was exhausting. Then we discovered we could put a note on the door saying “Mommy’s napping…don’t come back ‘til later.” After that we slept a little more soundly.

Ten days later, we are totally and completely, 100%, head over heels in love with Maddie. She is absolutely the most amazing, beautiful, sweet, gentle and precious gift we imagined she’d be. Nursing is taking off, as she is more awake now and stirs herself when hungry. At this moment she sleeps soundly in her cradle downstairs. We are beside ourselves with joy.

She's Here!!

Madeleine Noelle has arrived!
Born January 14, 2007
11:21 am
8 pounds, 4 ounces
21 inches long

Birth story in progress...

in bed

No, not bed rest. Rather, sick as a dog with a horrible cold and need to stay in bed to rest. Seriously. Could it get any worse? Plagued with end of pregnancy aches and pains and then hit with this awful bug. My lips are chapped, nose is stuffed, head clouded, pelvis sore, belly large.

But the baby is doing well...moving right now, tickling my ribs with those little baby toes. 9 days until D-day, but so far she's content to stay in her warm and cozy home. Fine with us, as the OB was on skiing vacation with his family this week. She can just stay put for a few more days, then we're free to go!

4 weeks to go

36 weeks: It came so fast. The holidays really help speed things along in the final trimester. Maddie continues to stay head-down, feet in my ribs or poking out toward the side. Her movements are slower, more controlled, though sometimes at night she still dances around, hands and feet both moving to her own little beat. When she really stretches her legs out, I like to tap or tickle the bottoms of her feet and feel her move them around. It's so fun to interact with her.

Today is my last day of work...maternity leave, here I come! I will probably spend my first week off sleeping like a log. I seriously cannot get enough sleep these days. Thankfully Maddie is super quiet at night and so I've been getting good, hard sleep (at least until I have to turn over). I've been so blessed to get some rest in these weeks. I think we've been going so hard for so long that my body just shuts down at night in order to be ready for the next day. I cannot wait to be off work, relaxing at home, preparing for Christmas.

down but not out

At my 33 week check-up yesterday the doctor confirmed that our little one has migrated into the head-down position. We knew she had moved somewhat because her little movements are in totally different areas than before. Mostly she likes to curl her toes around my ribs and hang out like a little baby bat.

Last Friday she assumed such an awkward, protruding position along my left side that we thought she might just pop through my skin and onto the bed, like a little projectile baby. I've heard crazy stories, but when you actually see your belly bending and stretching beyond any of your wildest imaginings, you finally understand just how crazy this pregnancy thing really is.

Ben took a picture, but it doesn't quite capture the feeling (ouch!) nor the hilarity of the event. She actually assumed the position twice before settling into her current c-shaped arrangement. Since our doc confirmed the position now Ben can sing and conversate with her without wondering if he's talking into her little bootie.

Giving Thanks

I have an amazing family, and for them I am truly grateful.

A few pictures from the big day:

3 pregnant ladies...my cousin's wife at 25 weeks, my sister-in-law at 24 weeks and me at 32 weeks


















My hubby, who is quite the pushover for our little niece...can you imagine how he'll be when Maddie arrives??!!!