a girl and her stick

Just a few pictures from our walk today:

Maddie loves to collect sticks of all sizes and shapes, calling some "special." There are "Mama" sticks, "Daddy" sticks, "baby" sticks, sticks for the doggy, sticks for friends and neighbors...oh the endless joys of sticks!

big girl bed

After a week or so of the dreaded multiple nighttime wakings we've had two nights of uninterrupted sleep! Hooray! Maddie loves her big girl bed and so do her Daddy and I. But in the same way that she was starting to look so big in her crib, she looks so itty bitty in her bed (sometimes when I peek in I have trouble finding her amidst the sheet, quilt and pillows.)

rough night in the big girl bed

The picture just doesn't do justice. This girl has got one crazy mess of hair this morning.

History in the Making: A Princess & A President

two

Oh my sweet girl,

Two years ago at 11:21 am, you entered this world pink, swollen, squeaky and the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen. From our first moments face to face to the friendship we share today, I can say without question that I am so proud to be your Mama.

Two means a lot of changes for you, my little miss. We've been talking more and more about what it means to be a "big girl." In the next few days, your new bed will arrive and you will no longer sleep in a crib. We have been working on potty training and you talk constantly about wearing "big girl undies with princesses on them." Just yesterday you wore your big sister t-shirt and we talked about the baby brother that will be arriving in just two short months. Your Daddy is always commenting on what a little girl you're becoming, and so quickly.

But in the past month I've also had more opportunities to snuggle you, rock you, and hold you close in my arms like a baby. I've looked at your little face, those impossibly pink lips, smoothed the hair away from your face, and stared in disbelief at the fact that soon my little girl will no longer be the baby of the house.

Yet growing up is so much fun. You amuse us every day with your perceptions and interpretations of what is happening around you, providing an ongoing commentary filled with great description and detail. You show sheer delight in the world, in small things and big things, presents and people, cats and cousins, sledding and singing. Your Daddy and I hope you never lose this sense of adventure and astonishment in the world around you. You thrive in new environments and amaze us with your capacity to tolerate and even enjoy change.

As this new year brings so much to look forward to, it also makes me keenly aware of how you are moving away and how little I am actually capable of shielding you from as you become more independent. A few weeks back a friend hit you while playing and your first reaction was a nervous little laugh, calling her "silly." But soon big crocodile tears welled in your eyes and you climbed in my lap, not able to understand what just happened. 

Later that night, long after putting you to sleep, I lay in bed thinking of your trusting little face that showed such pain and an inability to understand why someone you love would hurt you. It wasn't the fact that you got hurt that made me cry that night, it was just knowing that there are so many boo-boos ahead, so many hurt feelings, so much that I just won't be able to protect you from. And it makes me feel sad. 

In so many ways I look forward to the birth of your baby brother, but I am also grieving the fact that our relationship will change and I won't be as available to you as I've always been. I trust that you and I will navigate this new adventure like every one before and come out stronger and better on the other side. But my sweet girl, know that with each passing day I find it harder and harder to put you down at night, giving you just one more kiss or allowing "just one more story" because I want so badly to fill you up with all the love I possibly can right now.

And you are so easy to love. You continue to be the sweetest, most affectionate child I know. You freely offer kisses and hugs to everyone you love and have a special sense for knowing when someone needs gentle care, like allowing your 9o year-old great-grandmother to pull you up into her lap without acting the least bit squirrely. Often when I pick you up after a nap, or to comfort you after a boo-boo, you will pat my back with your little hands, as if to reassure me.

As you turn two, I hope you know without a doubt how greatly you are loved and treasured, what a gift and miracle you are, and how much you have enriched our lives. I thank God every time I pray for such a sweet, loving, inquisitive child and I am overwhelmed at His love, goodness and mercy in allowing me to be your parent. Happy Birthday, sweet Madeleine Noelle!

Love,

Mama

Merry Christmas!

Maddie has but 3 wishes for her fans this Christmas: 

EAT

(may I recommend the gingerbread house icing...yum!)

DRINK

(it's good to savor each drop of the "sparkly" aka Martinelli's apple juice)

BE MERRY

(taking pictures with Mama and finding it very amusing)

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

23: Nearly Two

Dear Madeleine, Monkey, Monka-Loo, Punkalooska-Sweetie-Pea,

You are officially 23 months old, which means we are dangerously close to two. And by "dangerously," of course I mean fear-inducing, tear-bringing, hand-wringing and disbelief-making on the part of your dear mother. My little bitty baby can't possibly be two years old. I just won't have it. Yet you seem to be moving in that direction, regardless of my own unreadiness. You are independent that way.

The nearer you get to two, the more "two-like" behaviors we are starting to see. It was a handful of months ago when you were displaying some "difficulty" and Kelly said to you, "I didn't know you were already two!" We laughed (and I cried a little inside, because we both knew what was coming). At one minute you are sweet and loving and giving my knees and elbows tender little kisses. And before I know it you are furiously waving that little hand in my face, saying, "No Mama! No Mama!" and expecting me to go away. As your independence grows, so does your spirit. You have discovered how to scream when you don't get your way, and in the last few days after screaming (and being told such behavior is not acceptable), you close your eyes tightly as if shutting out the world will make all the problems go away. Slowly, you open to a squint, a wink, both eyes open, and guess what? I'm still here.

Along with the more difficult aspects of two have come fun and creative elements, including dressing yourself. If you had your way, each day would begin with a blue sparkly tutu, high heels, sunglasses and a hat. You love to wear my high heels around the house, narrating the sound of a princess with "clip-clop, clip-clop." (At least someone is wearing fashionable footwear these days). You've also taken to wearing your pink rain boots with every outfit imaginable and it takes some creative coordinating on my part to ensure we leave the house appropriately attired.

Also of note is your increasing desire in using the potty. You regularly ask to visit the bathroom in exchange for the ever-exciting "chocolate." Only you say "chocolate" with such love and emphasis and a thickness to your tongue, as if the word itself requires special care and handling. It comes out sounding like "Shholocolate," rich and creamy and velvety smooth. You are a girl after my own heart. (And now I need to find a potty treat beside m&ms because Mama likes them too much and we do have a reasonable pregnancy weight to maintain here).

One recurring theme we've been discussing these past month is your family, and just how loved you are. Nearly every day you pick up the phone and "call" someone to say "I love you. I miss you. I come see you. Okay, seeyoulater." You even give yourself little prompts: "Say hi to Uncle Joe. HI UNCLE JOE! Say hi Lizzie. HI LIZZIE!" I keep meaning to get it on video because it is both absolutely hilarious and endearing. 

And speaking of family, I find myself pregnant once again at Christmastime, a time spent pondering what it must have been like for Mary to carry the Savior of the World in her own womb. With your constant entertainment and needs, I have less time to sit and imagine what Samuel will be like, look like, and what he will mean to me as a mother. But in our few quiet moments together, my eyes fill with tears as you put your little lips to my belly, kissing the growing child, and saying tenderly "Whatcha doin', baby brother?" Pressed together, belly to small face, we sit in awe and wonder of the miracle awaiting us.

Merry Christmas to you, sweet child, and to your coming baby brother. I am overwhelmed with awe and gratitude to our Savior as I grow more round and ever more deeply in love with my children. 

Love,

Mama

Happy Holidays and some Christmas Card Outtakes

Someone realized that stockings are for feet and was very

excited to try them on:

Looking for the perfect tree

Found it!

Outtake #1: Cheeeeeese!

Outtake #2: Aaahhhhoooooo! (like a wolf)

Stay tuned for the real Christmas Card photo,

released later so as not to spoil any surprises!

Santa baby

Today we visited Santa Claus in the city. Maddie wasn't too sure about sitting alone with the bearded man, so Mama got to come along. Hooray for Christmas season!

so much to be thankful for

Happy Thanksgiving to all of our loved ones! We are grateful to each of you for being a part of our lives. 

22 Months

Dear Maddie,

Yesterday you turned the ripe old age of twenty-two months. We are so close to 2, I can hardly believe it! Each and every day you are creating lots of laughter and moments of awe as we watch you changing and growing into this little girl right before our eyes.


Halloween night your Daddy and I were driving home, recalling our favorite moments from the night when he said, "Well, I guess parenthood is all about being amazed by your child over and over again." And it's so true. At night we speak in hushed tones about your cute, hilarious and naughty adventures of the day, wondering if other parents think their child is the most wonderful thing in the world. You and your Daddy are such good friends; it makes me so glad to know you love each other so deeply and enjoy each other's company so thoroughly. After spending 48 hours in bed with a stomach flu this month, I emerged to find you both, still clad in pajamas, laughing and playing and having the greatest time. Your Daddy wasn't the least bit frustrated or tired, having missed a day of work to stay home and take care of you, but overjoyed with the extra time he was able to spend with his girl.

You love to put on a show, for anyone and everyone who will prove a captive audience. You are filled with songs and stories to share, repeating small nuggets of information over and over, as if the story gets funnier each time you tell it (this is another way you take after your Daddy). Months after losing a balloon from the grocery store, you will still say, "Balloons pop [some]times." A visit to the zoo brought endless quips such as, "I see bats!" and "Bats hang upside down," and "peacocks have lots colors." Each time we feign new interest, as if we've not heard the story before. 

You continue to amaze us with your ability and desire to learn. One of your favorite activities is to sit on the floor with your Daddy and "spell" out words, arranging the letters side by side on the ground. You recognize all your letters, most of your colors, and will count to ten. In the car one day as we were driving along you surprised me by announcing, "There's an orange oval." I didn't even know you knew what an oval was! But the other morning as you played preschool games on Daddy's phone (your parents' way of staying in bed for just a few more minutes), I heard the game say "Blue Oval!" as you explored all the shapes. Mystery solved!

Your nonstop talking, from when you first rise in the morning until I place you awake in your crib at night, is a source of great amusement and occasional exhaustion. You have so much to say and twelve hours in a day just isn't quite enough time to process everything. After picking you up from a friend's house last night at 11 o'clock, it took about two minutes of snuggling in my arms before you said, "I play with friends. Leaf in its mouth. Blink is two eyes. Moon is hiding. Pookie and crazy Lulu! I talk on phone." It was an endless review of our entire day's routine, from Costco to your last moments before bedtime, played on repeat until you finally turned over on your side in the crib, saying, "Wink. One eye."

You've filled our lives with such delight, it's no wonder we're so excited to be bringing another child into our family. I often daydream about the kind of big sister you will be, helpful and affectionate, bossy and protective. Your relationship with the belly now is very indicative of such future behaviors, as you will quickly shift from kissing it and saying "Hiii baby brother," to announcing with glee "Belly Bump!" and then yanking up your shirt and running full speed into me, bouncing off and giggling uncontrollably. I can't wait to see the two of you making up your own little games and enjoying your own special relationship that exists apart from me.

At times I grieve the fact that this new baby will change our relationship. I won't be able to be your best playmate at any point in the day. I won't always be able to "hold you first," as his needs may be more immediate. I will have to scoot just a little bit further toward the side of the bed to make room for two bodies between Daddy and I as we snuggle in the morning. But this I know: you are an incredibly easygoing and adaptable child. We will have many hard moments but before long you will not remember the time when it was just the three of us, and baby Samuel Benjamin will be an even better playmate than Daddy or I. 

I love you, baby.

Mama

a few anecdotes

Two weeks ago I was taking pictures of Maddie when she started to fall and I reached out to grab her, dropping the camera to the ground with the lens out and open. It's been downhill for the little point-and-shoot ever since, thus the lack of pictures for a while. Sorry!

But I will share some cute Maddie stories. First, those of you who spend any time with Maddie know she is way into pirates. She loves to read pirate books, dress up in her pirate hat, and make pirate sounds ("Arrgh!" and "Ahoy, Matey!") Tutu and Boppa took Maddie overnight this weekend and she returned with a pirate ship that plays music and makes fun sounds and carries two cute pirates, a monkey, and a parrot. She loves it and plays with it constantly! But she is very much a girl, as her Daddy and I were reminded last night, as she was "changing the pirate's diaper" and having the pirates kiss each other. So cute!

Maddie also loves to "help Mama" in the kitchen, cracking eggs, stirring mixes, adding ingredients to the bowl, etc. This week we made cupcakes just for fun and Maddie got to lick the KitchenAid beater for the very first time. It is a large, triangular-shaped blade with lots of nooks and crannies to hold chocolate frosting. By the time I took it away, her entire face was covered in frosting, as were her hair, ears, neck, hands and t-shirt! It was a fun treat for both of us. (Oh, and Daddy didn't mind the cupcakes, either).

buddies

Maddie and Kate, good buddies and play date pals, at just 21 months! 

Happy Halloween!

Pumpking carving is serious business, as Maddie dons her headband in preparation of the festivities:

Whatcha doing, Dada?

Helping pull out the pumpkin seeds

Peering into the jack-o-lantern in her fairy princess garb:

Fairy princess closeup:

With her pirate buddy Wyatt (Ahoy, Matey!) before trick-or-treating:

We needed a wagon to haul home the candy stash! (and Nicole the kitty cat)

Our first trick-or-treating experience was a delightful one! Maddie was a trooper, running from house to house, up the steps, knocking or ringing the doorbell, shouting out "Trick or Treat!" and then "thank you!" after receiving her candy. The sweet girl walked nearly the whole way, multiple blocks, amazing us with her perseverance in pursuit of the sweet nectar of Halloween.

Hope you all had a safe and happy Halloween!

storytime

Madeleine loves story time, enjoyed before nap and bedtime. On this night, she was particularly animated, as captured by Dada as Mama read "Baby Talk."

Then it was Dada's time to read, and it was fun to see how their expressions matched with each new page:

Reading is fun for the whole family!