Tuesday, October 16, 2012

pregnancy, the 3rd time around

Time to get real, folks. My first pregnancy? Loved it. We waited a long time for Miss Maddie, and when I finally learned I was pregnant, I was one happy mama. Sure, I had morning sickness, but only for five weeks. The zits, the hormones, the joint aches, the heartburn--they were all beautiful reminders of the growing life inside of me. Overall, I really enjoyed being having that baby in my belly. I really  felt like I was glowing. Even late into my third trimester, you could see my cheekbones, I was still smiling, and I had a sense of humor. I worked all the way up until Christmas, then had Maddie a few weeks later.

When I got pregnant with Sam, we were super excited to be expecting again. I started feeling nauseous around 5 or 5 1/2 weeks, and the morning sickness lasted past twenty weeks. I was tired from running after a toddler in addition to growing a life inside me. And we got really troubling news at our ultrasound that caused some serious worry. But some of the happy parts of pregnancy kept me sane: thick, lustrous hair, glowing skin. Toward the end, my joint pain was really bad (and most likely an indicator of the colitis relapse on its way). I did not enjoy being pregnant in proportion to the more pregnant I got. I was huge, tired, awkward, and more than ready for Sam to arrive.

And now, pregnancy numero three. A complete surprise. It was a significant hurdle just getting over the shock (after trying over a year to have a third, not being successful, then getting so sick, then giving up on the dream, well, it was a big, big shock!) But we were and are excited, because we love babies and always hoped for a third. However, within a week of finding out we were pregnant, I started experiencing symptoms of colitis relapse. The symptoms continued to get worse, and worse, and worse. By God's grace, we made it through the first trimester, though barely. I finally woke up, thanks to some much-needed prednisone. Thank you, wonder drug! Now I'm a new woman: cleaning house, making cookies, enjoying the heck out of my kiddos and finally starting to feel like myself. I'm finally settling in. Yet, the pregnancy. Pregnancy + prednisone = puffiness; my face is puffy, my always-hungry body is puffy. And if a puffy face isn't bad enough, I've got a few zits going on, too. No glow. No lustrous hair. The colitis took the glow right away! 

But when it comes down to it, I can handle anything for nine months. Surprise, relapse, morning sickness, zits, puffiness. There's a big prize at the end of this journey. Just trying to keep it real, folks.

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