Tuesday, March 28, 2006

a weighty issue

I've read a few blogs in the past few days about how women view themselves in light of their weight, their bodies, their looks, etc. It's a vicious topic, and a universal battle, as evidenced by the following quotes from other women:

I hope there is more sustaining your attraction for each other than just superficial looks. If a husband is going to be upset that his wife doesn't always look like she did on her wedding day, the marriage won't last beyond her first wrinkle. Controlling your weight for your spouse is one thing, but you can't control everything; eventually, age, kids, gravity, and just plain life will turn you into something other than the attractive 23-year-old you were on your wedding day. If your spouse has a problem with you gaining 20 pounds in your 20's, you should be prepared for him dropping you like a bad habit when the first gray hairs sprout in your 40's.Many bloggers eloquently responded to MIM's "false advertising" post. And more than anything, I was struck by how many women (and these aren't morbidly obese women ... they are women who have put on 20 or 30 lbs) said that their husbands ask/pressure/guilt them to lose weight.

Hub didn't want me to go to his office Christmas party, nor has he invited anyone from work to our house. When I joked that this was because I was "no longer a wife worth showing off," he got very quiet. Saying nothing at all was infinitely worse than anything he could have possibly said.

I met with my girls last night and we discussed a chapter from the book we're reading: "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge. The chapter was about the spiritual attack women face, about how we never feel we measure up or we feel like were "too much" for the people we love. There is an excellent discourse on Satan's fall, that it was becaue of pride over his beauty as the angel Lucifer. The Eldredges believe that Satan, because of his fall, attacks women where it hurts most--our beauty.

We are created in the image of God--created to reflect his beauty and his nurturing spirit--and yet I have met so few women who are pleased with their self-image. We bear the mark of our creator yet we hate our hair or our thighs or our freckles or our nose. The list goes on.

How do we claim our beauty and the mark of our creator? How do we go through life content, not comparing ourselves to every Barbie-esque creature that walks by? I wish I had a good answer. For the meantime, I will continue to struggle with this issue and how I might be able to respond personally and also to encourage other women in my life.

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