a few nibbles

Maddie is going through some crazy developmental changes these days. But apparently developing strength, smarts, independence and dexterity requires some work in the wee hours of the night. For the past week, she's been waking up multiple times at night, crying out, "Mama!" or simply sighing, whimpering, and tossing about. 

I figured that by the time my baby was sleeping through the night, I'd learn to sleep through the little sounds and wake for the serious ones. Not so much. Maybe it's the second pregnancy and the fact I'm waking three times to use the bathroom and at least a dozen other to change positions, but I swear, I hear every peep coming from that room. It will probably come in handy if and when my kids are sneaky adolescents. I found myself smiling at the thought that when I was home visiting my parents, my own mom probably still stirred when she heard me wake to use the restroom. At this rate, I am assured that long after my kids are grown and gone, I'll be waking to phantom cries in the middle of the night.

Maddie loves to sing and will ask for her Maranatha kids CD most mornings, saying, "More holy" or "More hallelu!" Her aunt Jennie made the CD when she stayed for a few days while we were out of town, and it brings much joy to the our household. She loves to do the motions to, "He's got the whole world in his hands," and especially loves to sing, "little bitty baby." 

I found her singing to and playing with her stuffed animals yesterday, asking them babbling questions and then saying, "Okay, Froggy?" and "Okay, George?" It kills me it is so cute. I never expected my 19 month old baby to act like such a big girl so much of the time. She is into puzzles and books, telling me all day long, "Sit down. Puzzles." 

It is as if her brain is growing by the second, soaking up new information and digesting it then spitting it back out in new skills, words, jokes and incredible understanding. She is counting items, pointing out letters in her books and is a pro at finding princesses or Nemo. I never imagined we'd be buying into consumer packaging at such an early age, but I actually find it rather sweet.

Maddie likes to peek at my belly and say hello to the baby. She is obsessed with big pregnant bellies and has lifted up many a shirt searching for the baby, much to her mama's embarrassment. Luckily most of our pregnant friends have their own toddlers and are more than happy to display "silly" belly buttons and "big bellies" for Maddie. It is really fun to see her so interested and aware. The other day we were leaving our friends' home after a play date and I said, "say goodbye to the baby in Susan's belly," and she leaned over to give her belly a kiss! 

I'm writing in baby Nemo's journal less frequently than with my first pregnancy, but I find myself writing lots of prayers and hopes for this new little one. Ben and I feel like Maddie is such a uniquely special person, and it is my prayer that in getting to know our new little one, we will recognize and appreciate how different and special he/she is, too. I pray that I can be as intentional and hands-on a parent, find the time to take care of myself in addition to two babies and a husband, and learn to divide and expand myself and my heart further. 

The blessing of being a mama has taught me such great love, the limits of exhaustion, the need for mercy, boundless creativity and the joy of each new day, fresh with possibility. It is a journey I wouldn't trade for the world.