Friday, August 11, 2006

dreaming of you

Dear Little One,

Last night I dreamt of you. The dream began with the realization that you were crying in an upstairs room. When I reached you, your head and neck were wet with tears and frustration. I picked you up and you nuzzled into my neck and chest, calming immediately with what can only be described as familiarity. I knew instinctly that you recognized my smell, my heartbeat, the sound of my voice and the shape of my body.

It was the first time I held you, and once you were still I couldn't keep from admiring every piece of your perfect, beautiful face. You had wispy brown hair that curled away from your face, almond shaped newborn-grey eyes, the sweetest button nose and full, kissable lips. Maybe it's vain, but you looked like me, and I know because I was specifically checking to see whether your dad's or my features found their way to your tiny face.

I kissed your face and your lips over and over, letting you suck on my lower lips and "kiss" me back, laughing at your hungry innocence. As I carried you down the stairs, your dad came to meet us and we couldn't believe how blessed we were to have you in that moment. Every wish, every dream fulfilled in a tiny, perfect, precious little baby.Our baby. Our friends were all gathered around, waiting to see you and welcome you home.

The dream ended as I made my way to a comfy chair to nurse you for the first time. I couldn't wait to hold you to my skin and provide you with the nourishment you sought, rooting around at your hand and my face as we approached the chair. Your father walked carefully beside us, moving things out of the way, clearing the chair, and smiling the biggest smile I've ever seen on his face.

It was the sweetest dream I've ever had the pleasure of dreaming, and when I woke to my own bed I wasn't sad the dream had ended. I cupped my hand around your small shape in my belly and fell back asleep, dreaming of the wonderful days ahead.



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