Tuesday

5:40am Daddy's alarm goes off; Daddy pushes snooze
5:52am Maddie wakes up, talking in her crib
5:53am Daddy gets in the shower
5:55am Pick her up, change her diaper while she dramatizes (fake cries)
5:58am Nurse on right side in bed
6:16am Daddy kisses us goodbye
6:26am Stop dozing, switch to left side
7:48am Maddie wakes up, looks me in the eyes and smiles wide
7:55am Start coffee pot, put Maddie on tiny love play gym
8:14am Take dog outside while drinking first cup of coffee, wipe off exersaucer
8:21am Put Maddie in exersaucer, drink second cup of coffee
8:41am Maddie starts to get bored, set cup down to pick her up
8:52am Take Maddie upstairs, change diaper, rock, nurse, rock, put down in crib asleep
10:22am Maddie wakes up smiling
10:23am Change Maddie's diaper, change out of pajamas into dress, socks, and headband
10:42am Leave to run an errand to Babies 'R' Us for supplies
11:45am Maddie falls asleep briefly in sling in store! Oh no! Sleeps only about 8 minutes.
11:55am Drive home, Maddie crying in back seat, text Daddy to ask him to pick up sushi for lunch
12:05pm Nurse Maddie, rock, walk through hall, turn on fan, place in crib, take out of crib, nurse again, put in sling, talk to Daddy while he starts eating lunch, finally place awake, crying baby in crib at 1:17
1:18-1:33pm Scarf down California rolls, try to make conversation while listening to baby cry
1:33pm Walk around upstairs outside nursery trying to decide whether to go in
1:43pm Take baby out of crib, lay down in bed and nurse, fall asleep when baby stops nursing about 2:30
3:08pm Maddie wakes up, try to soothe back to sleep, no success, get up
3:12pm Place baby in swing, hoping to eke out another 45 minutes of naptime, she falls asleep for about five minutes but wakes back up, nap not a success
3:42pm Get tennis shoes on, put baby in stroller, dog on leash and head out for a walk
4:42pm Return home, nurse baby, who falls asleep nursing for about 10 minutes and then jerks self awake, try to get back to sleep, no success
5:33pm Decide to eat dinner b/c it looks like a long night of getting overtired baby to sleep ahead. Dinner is turkey sandwich, sugar snap peas, pita chips and Crystal Light
5:59pm Take Maddie upstairs, change diaper, put in jammies
6:05-6:30pm Nurse Maddie
6:30pm Maddie falls asleep nursing, continue rocking for 15 minutes to make sure she's out
6:44pm Move Maddie's limp legs and arms to ensure depth of sleep, rise from rocker, move toward crib
6:45pm Place Maddie in crib, Maddie startles awake and starts making rapid gasping noises when realizes she's being put down to sleep
6:45 and 33 seconds Lift baby up and try to soothe back to sleep
6:51pm Baby awake, Mama exhausted. Place awake baby in crib. Take long, hot shower. Decide to try first night of Weissbluth's letting baby self-soothe as long as necessary.
7:02pm Long, hot shower actually only 11 minutes in duration, baby still crying.
7:03-7:06pm Towel off, enter baby's room to peek in crib. Baby wide awake, eyes Mama and makes big gummy smiles to entice Mama to take her out of crib.
7:08pm Mama returns to master bedroom, picks up Weissbluth's "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" and turns to section about bedtime to get courage to not return to baby's side.
7:14pm Baby stops crying. Mama breathes HUGE sigh of relief and goes downstairs.
7:42pm Baby wakes up crying, Mama inhales sharply and feels heart start beating rapidly. Maddie moves around in crib, settles back to sleep after just 2 minutes. Mama sighs deeply.
7:42-9:00 Mama picks up house, starts dryer to refluff clothes left from yesterday, cleans dinner dish, drinks a large glass of chocolate milk, checks favorite blogs, finishes daily crossword and types up blog entry.
9:18pm Blog entry completed. Baby still sleeping. American Idol a big upset.

life is rich

My Dear Little One,


Tonight as I cuddled you in my arms before putting bed I was overwhelmed with love and gratitude and contentment. This week marks one year since finding out you were on the way. The joy we felt in that moment of seeing the positive pregnancy test is nothing compared to the joy we feel with you in our lives now.

The relief I feel when you finally fall asleep at night is nothing like the longing, my arms suddenly light and strangely empty upon placing you in your crib. It is so nice to have some adult time but we can't wait for the morning and your bright, smiling face to join us in bed for your morning snack, hair wild and crazy with sweat and hard sleep.

These days when you nurse you regularly pause to gaze up into my eyes and communicate your love in small phrases such as "ah-goo," "mmaaa" or "yayaya." I swear today while playing you looked up at me and said "Hi!" As your daddy prepared his sermon today, talking out loud you watched intently, commenting every few minutes as if giving advice on what to say.

You were and are a miracle. God is so gracious to have given you to us, with your gummy smiles, adorable laughter, chubby wrists, cheesy thighs, yummy snuggles and cheery disposition. We are crazy about you and we love you so much!

Maddie Laughs

Something I cannot get enough of these days is the laugh of my itty bitty girl. I am shameless in my pursuit of the next giggle, pulling out the craziest and silliest of faces, maneuvers and voices in order to capture that one, perfect laugh. It often comes by surprise, sneaking out of her smiling mouth with pure, untamed cuteness. It is one of those fabulous milestones of parenthood, hearing your child's very first laughs, like a little piece of heaven.

The girl wakes up happy, from every nap, no matter how short. 15 minutes? Still wakes up smiling. 3:45 in the morning? Smiley. It's amazing.

And then there's her naked, chubby little body. She is absolutely delectable, with so many edible parts it's just amazing that I'm always covered in her slobber and not the other way around. I feel like every time I peel off the layers for bath time or nudey time, there's another roll or wrinkle to be explored with my kissy lips.


As a matter of fact, the only thing that is somewhat trying about this stage of life is that Maddie wants to be awake all day. She hates to miss out on any fun that might be had, sometimes waking up after going down for a nap only 14 minutes earlier (see paragraph on smiling, above). She also rarely makes it through a feeding session without playing multiple batty eyelash games with her mama. So I spend a lot of time nursing and putting to sleep, but it is all worth it to see those smiling eyes looking up, whether it's been 13 minutes or two and half hours.

Maddie on Tape

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